For how long have you been having this thoughts?
Extremely anxious about aging and time
Just yesterday I was 17. How did I become 22 so fast? Where did all those years go? When I was 12 years old a year felt like a really, really long time. Now it feels like nothing. A month passes by and I don't even realize it. An hour is like a minute. Time is just flying by. I'm getting anxious thinking about my life. I haven't accomplished anything or done anything that's memorable. In no time I'll have become 30 then 40 then 50.
I think the problem lies with the fact that I'm anhedonic. When I was a child time felt very slow because I was enjoying each and everyday. I looked forward to doing stuff. Now, I just wake up and attend school and do nothing else. Nothing brings me joy or excitement, everything is boring. I have lost my emotions.
Yeah, time flies. I still feel this way, and I blame it all on the anhedonia. The fact is I don't enjoy anything. Not food, not games, movies, socializing, tv shows, nothing. I feel like many years of my life are being wasted simply because I can't enjoy them. It's gotten so bad that I barely eat anymore. I really can't get myself to get in enough calories. Everything tastes bland and boring.
A lot of people take for granted the pleasure they get from everyday things and some even treat it as evil. But anhedonia has opened my eyes and that is life is all about pleasure. Whether you want to be successful, have a family, accomplish goals, whatever it is it all requires you to feel reward and pleasure. And this is what motivates a lot of people. If you take away the reward then you also take away the motivation.
Anhedonia is a living hell.
I'd say anhedonia is just a symptom of something deeper. Have you ever wondered why you're not capable of enjoying any of these things??? Is there any reason for this???
"A lot of people take for granted the pleasure they get from everyday things and some even treat it as evil. But anhedonia has opened my eyes and that is life is all about pleasure" - Well, that's debatable. I'm not entirely sure if life's all about pleasure (I'd say for some people it's all about pleasure since they've focused on this and that's questionable. They're called "hedonists"). Life's more about some other things.
"Whether you want to be successful, have a family, accomplish goals, whatever it is it all requires you to feel reward and pleasure" - That's what we've been taught since we're children, I think. Some people have other goals that not include any of the aforementioned things and, well, I think they're happy. It's much better to find your own way in life and discover what truly makes you happy. Some others think that being successful and having families will actually make them happy, but that doesn't always happen. For example, I've met highly successful people in my life and they've sacrificed everything to obtain some status and, guess what??? They're extremely miserable.
I can't say I'm 100% anhedonic, but I'm very apathetic and I've found myself trapped in a void in many times. I used to struggle against this feeling, but I stopped. The reason why I decided to embrace this void is because it gave me more strength and I could see reality from a different perspective.
Life is more rewarding when you're not hedonistic. It allows you to have a deeper understanding of things, IMHO. So, it has its own advantages.
[quote='Crystal' pid='685' dateline='1487824701']
"I haven't accomplished anything or done anything that's memorable" -Would you care to explain, please???
I haven't done anything in the last 5-7 years. I just wake up and do whatever I can to make the time fly. I'm not ambitious or motivated at all. I'm in school at the moment but I'm just doing the bare minimum to not fail. I don't care about my grades nor do I care about having a career.
There's really nothing that I want to do. So because of this I feel like I haven't done anything productive in my life.
"I haven't done anything in the last 5-7 years. I just wake up and do whatever I can to make the time fly. I'm not ambitious or motivated at all. I'm in school at the moment but I'm just doing the bare minimum to not fail. I don't care about my grades nor do I care about having a career.
There's really nothing that I want to do. So because of this I feel like I haven't done anything productive in my life".
Actually, you're attending school, so I would say you're doing something productive. Sometimes, we tend to compare ourselves to others and measure their achievements with ours. I've learned that no one should ever do that. We're all different and it's pointless to compare ourselves to others. We all have different viewpoints and goals, as well as our paths in life.
It's even worse when others compare you, so if that's happened to you or if it ever happens, just ignore them and forget about those comparisons. People who tend to do this are broken and have unresolved issues (emotionally speaking).
Emotion, let things flow and take them as they come. Focus on school and yourself, because that's what matters the most. You could start, for example, with a small goal every day (something very simple and, of course, realistic) and then set some others.
You're way better than this and don't let your own mind play games on you, buddy.
Yeah, I've started caring less and less about the past and I focus more on the present now. I find that pretending I only have a few years left to live a bit motivating and stress relieving. Makes it so I can focus on making my life better for both the short-term as well as long-term.