THE 16 DESIRES (Steven Reiss)
Acceptance - the need to be appreciated
Curiosity, the need to gain knowledge
Eating, the need for food
Family, the need to take care of one’s offspring
Honor, the need to be faithful to the customary values of an individual’s ethnic group, family or clan
Idealism, the need for social justice
Independence, the need to be distinct and self-reliant
Order, the need for prepared, established, and conventional environments
Physical activity, the need for work out of the body
Power, the need for control of will
Romance, the need for mating or sex
Saving, the need to accumulate something
Social contact, the need for relationship with others
Social status, the need for social significance
Tranquility, the need to be secure and protected
Vengeance, the need to strike back against another person
A slightly bigger explanation of each of the 16 desires can be found here:
I have the book but since I can't send the book, this link may also be interesting for you is you want to read more about it:
I will now explain more on how this theory has shaped my thinking regarding my personal motivations and drives.
While I was observing my behaviours and feelings, I tried to figure out what motivated me do do some things I did. For example when I was making myself pretty (nails, clothes, hair, etc). The first reason that came to mind was: making myself pretty for potential suiters. (romance) Thinking more about it, I discovered that I also pay a lot of attention to my look when I'm meeting with new female friends. So maybe I want to impress? (Social status) Maybe I'm affraid that they will reject me as a friend if I dissapoint them somehow so I do my best in every way to (acceptance)?
I think now that it's a certain mixture of reasons and, depending on the situation, other motivations plays a bigger part. After analyzing much more bahaviours like this over time of myself and others, I came to the conclusion that someones behaviour may be an indicator of his/her motivations but the true motivations can sometimes be different than what you expect.
For example: excercizing. Some people love to excercize. They score higher on the need for 'physical activity' than couch potato's. But not everyone who sports had a high need for excercise. Some do it to be more attractive to romantic suitors (romance), some do it for a good health, because it's fun to do team sport (social contact), to win and be the best, (social status/power?) etc.
After analyzing myself like that I discovered that I was doing some things trying to fulfil certain needs, while I could be doing other (more direct or pleasant) things that fulfilled the same needs.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say?