I used to have a problem with my emotions controlling me, but now I mostly always in control of them. I think it's when I started to become more cognizant of them that I was able to control them. That's not to say that I can instantly make myself happy or joyful, but when I notice that I'm feeling a negative emotion I can tone it down quite a bit and sometimes make it disappear completely.
Question regarding emotional strenght
is it possible in your opinion to keep a certain feeling or emotion, even when your surroundings would usually change them?
for example, if there were multiple people standing in a circle around me, and they would be very offensive, neglect anything i do or wish for and they would just seem to be very malicious towards me, would i be able to somehow keep a cool head and a positive emotion, or am i "doomed" to feel bad in that kind of situation?
i wish to learn how to deal with harmful people, without getting hurt or getting strongly affected by them anymore.
HI there, welcome to the forum.
I would think so, yes. I've done this before and the more I do it the better I become at it. A lot of emotions are triggered by what you think. In Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT), they call this what you think is what you feel. I actually became aware of this long before I found out about CBT.
Anyway, what you need to do is simply ignore them. It's a lot easier to ignore what they have to say when you don't care about them, i.e. if they're just strangers at a party it's very easy to ignore what they have to say because you'll most likely not see them again.
Also, what they say doesn't matter. What matters is how you respond to what they say. For example, if they say you are a dumb person and you believe that then you will feel bad. If you just ignore what they say then you won't be affected by it at all.
This is what I have done for years now and it's working pretty well.
i see, thank you for your answer.
now i just need to learn how to not care about other people anymore, this will be very hard for me
if only my subconciousness wouldnt trigger certain emotions in certain situations. i sometimes feel like i would be a small boy again, who cant stand his ground.
i already knew that my thoughts have a huge impact on my feelings, but the same could also be said about the opposite.
my feelings seem to influence my thoughts. its like a circle.